Roads to Rome

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Ha! That reminds me of something slightly relevant…

In the RPG “Two Worlds 2”, there are a bunch of dungeons which are essentially large, dark mazes. Since I’m a complete idiot when it comes to orientation in games, I decided to do it the easy way and just walked along the left wall. Obviously, I would find the treasure room eventually. There were a bunch of these, each one increasingly complex, but I didn’t care, I just walked left.

Until I got to the last one. The one before that had taken me ten minutes or so, so I expected that one to take longer. After 20 minutes, I started thinking “oh boy, that’s a long fucking maze.” After 30 minutes, I noticed that the dead guys I walked past were the ones I killed near the entrance. I was completely stumped by that discovery – it’s a maze! Every maze can be solved like that! I must have missed an entrance.

So I took another round, extra careful, this time the other way round. Sure enough, after ten minutes I walked past the same bunch of dead guys. I was at my wits end – so I grabbed a sheet of paper and started making a map of the damn place. Took me at least 20 minutes or so. And I noticed that there was a big hole right in the middle, and a corridor leading in a circle around it.

Then it dawned on me. The maze couldn’t be solved by walking along the wall because there was a corridor around the treasure chamber. The entrance was on the inner wall, and all that time I had walked around the outer wall! Sure enough, with the map on hand, it took me two minutes to get to the fucking treasure chamber. I had passed the entrance four times without noticing. Even worse: the way to that entrance was marked by corpses. In fact, all the mazes had corpses in them like that. All you had to do was to follow the corpses.

After that, I said to myself: “Fucking devs knew what the smart guys do when they encounter a maze. They made that maze specifically to screw guys like me, big time. Only stupid people find the corpses like Hänsel finds his fucking bread crumbs while fleeing from the witch.”

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